Song of a Green Gardener

or Rest in Peas

I am flesh and bone
A natural and biodegradable product
Made under ethical conditions
With no harm to animals.

I am environmentally friendly,
Contain no artificial preservatives,
And when discarded
Will totally decompose
Leaving only valuable nutrients.

When I die I will donate my organs
But not my fibrillating heart.
And I will have a green funeral
In order to conserve energy and make
No contribution to global warming.

I will be buried in a recyclable coffin
Beside the compost heap on my allotment
Where my carbon atoms will become
Organically grown vegetables, fairly traded
And awarded prizes at the garden show.

Warning: I may contain nuts