Libido Alert

Has anyone seen my libido?
I’ve been looking everywhere:
In the bed and in my head,
But, alas, it isn’t there.

It’s an impish little critter,
A quite outrageous flirt;
It likes to chat up pretty girls
And grope a bit of skirt.

I tried to tame it and restrain it,
it’s never strayed before;
I had to keep it on a lead
To stop it running off to score.

It feeds on sexual fantasies,
Likes to ogle and to lust;
It sports with Julia Roberts,
And jives with Jordan’s bust.

It likes to nestle in your bra
And also in your knickers;
It likes unzipping lightning zips
And making thin things thicker.

I went to see the doctor;
He sympathised, but said:
‘It’s common at your age, my friend,
You’re no longer good in bed.’

Libido loss is not a joke,
Potency must be restored.
If you can help me find it, girls,
I promise you a small reward.